If you’ve been keeping up with my blog you know that I’m scheduled for the next (and hopefully LAST) round of nipple and areolae tattooing on Monday in Atlanta. The Twins are numb and I have two other tattoos so pain or fear of discomfort isn’t an issue. As I said in “Understanding My Fears”, it’s about the chair.
I think I can handle that now.
What has me freaking out THIS week is the possibility of a flap revision on my right nipple. I emailed Suzanne, Dr. Elliot’s assistant, about using dermal filler to plump up my right nipple because it’s flatter than the left. She told me that Dr. Elliot said that it’s not permanent and that, after the skin heals from tattooing, he’d like to talk about flap revision.
Now, I understand that differences are normal. In nature most women have some asymmetry. And, as I’ve said before, I just want this all to be over with. The idea of another surgery had me feeling like a deer in headlights. The headlights, in this case, belonged to a locomotive just chock full of my baggage.
I’m not sure, at this point, if I should just suck it up and deal, accepting the asymmetry, or if I should consider the flap revision. My right nipple is half the height of the left and they’re not going to contract any more. But if I have the flap revision then I get to wait another three months or so before I know for certain if they’ll be the same size.
What if the right one ends up bigger than the left? Do I have yet another revision? No, that’s not going to happen. I’m torn because it’s my body and it should be how I want it to be after all this crap. But I also recognize the limits of plastic and reconstructive surgery. I wonder if I’m demanding too much. Plastic and reconstructive surgery has its limits. A surgeon can’t put my boobs back where they were when I was 16. A surgeon can’t create new breasts without scars.
So can a surgeon create symmetrical nipples? According to this site, if it is a reduction, yes it can be done, but I’m not finding anything about making nipples bigger to improve symmetry.
The photos below are from after the first round of tattooing but they will do well for an example of size comparison. As you can see, my left nipple is significantly taller than my right.
I’m not someone who is embarrassed by a little nip poke-through. If it was an issue with a specific event I’d just wear a lightly padded bra to camouflage the protrusion. After having no nipples (not to mention no breasts) for as long as I did, plump, pokey nipples are something I enjoy. Plus during foreplay, a nipple like that is easier to access.
I guess what it comes down to is what I’m willing to put up with. I have to heal up from the tattooing first before I can consider any further steps.
Even though the dermal filler is just temporary, I might see about giving that a try anyway to see if it even makes a difference to my mental state. If it doesn’t, there’s no point in looking into a <shudder> flap revision.
And then there is my husband, who is concerned that there might be a possibility of necrosis again. I tried to reassure him that the nipple reconstruction went just fine with no complications. I guess I’m not the only one with a baggage train.